As a Celebrant who prides myself on performing deeply meaningful wedding ceremonies, it’s a little embarrassing to confess that I watch cheesy wedding reality TV. You see I’m an eternal optimist. And because of my profession as a wedding celebrant (officiant), I keep hoping that one of these TV couples will devote as much energy to their wedding ceremony as they do their chocolate dessert fountain!
For that is truly the worst part of these shows for me… how little importance is attached to the ceremony that actually begins the couple’s marriage. All too often on TV, it’s just about the bling.
Fortunately in my practice, real life couples are much more sane! I see a strong trend of couples seeking Fresh, Unique, and Memorable, when it comes to their wedding ceremony.
These smart couples are doing what I refer to as, “Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding”, They are turning towards meaningful wedding experiences that reflect their personalities and values… And rejecting flashy events where it’s all about the show.
Today’s most progressive weddings are the essence of elegant-simplicity, where the ceremony sets the tone for the couple’s entire day, as well as their wedding memories. Far from being a hoop to jump through, these couples want the ceremony that begins their marriage to be deeply resonate of ‘them’.
I’m so glad to see this. These occasions are incredibly powerful and important. A wedding ceremony written exclusively for and about a couple feels so true, so honest. Guests should be on the edge of their seat as they listen to the story of the couple; they feel they are part of the experience and not merely observing.
A well-written wedding ceremony should be like a tapestry, woven from the hopes and dreams, stories and tales, which the couple shares with their officiant in the collaboration stage. The best wedding ceremonies are always collaborations. Never let an officiant impose a ceremony upon you!
Since a deeply meaningful wedding ceremony is so dependent upon working with the right officiant, it’s so important to find the right person. You should look for someone who is a ceremonial writer, a warm and emotive speaker, a guide, and who you can trust implicitly.
Many officiants have no specific training in ceremony. Look for those who have a sound background in the relevance of ritual and ceremony, knowledge of a wide variety of ceremonial traditions, ability to design and manage the ceremony itself, and a wealth of experience. She or he should be able to truly ‘get you’. Never feel embarrassed about asking for credentials, references, samples, and testimonials. A respectable officiant will never be offended or refuse these.
In closing, let me tell you from personal experience that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the details of planning a wedding. My advice is to treat your ceremony with reverence and find an officiant who will too. Put your ceremony into your wedding day and don’t settle for a boring cookie cutter ceremony written for someone else!